Fascinating Things I'm Learning Decades Too Late, Part Two

Ed. Note: This entry - and the more detailed/vexing Wikipedia article it's lifted from - is best when read in Robert Stack's voice.




An unidentified male body was found on Somerton Beach in Adelaide, Australia at ~6:30AM, December 1, 1948. The victim was wearing a sweater and coat despite the hot day, and all identification marks on his wardrobe had been removed. There were no clues as to his identity, and the victim's dental records and fingerprints matched no known person. An autopsy discovered bizarre congestion, blood in the stomach, and enlarged organs, but no foreign substances (aside from the benign remnants of a recently eaten pastry).

Eight different "positive" matches had been disproved by early 1949, when a suitcase - very likely to have belonged to the still unidentified man - was found at a nearby train station. It contained a pair of trousers with a secret hidden pocket, which itself held a piece of paper torn from a book imprinted with the words “Taman Shud" (translated as "ended" or "finished"). The paper was matched to an extremely rare copy of Omar Khayyam’s ‘The Rubaiyat’ that had been found in the backseat of a random man's unlocked car. In New Zealand. Earlier in 1948. On the back of that book, five lines of capital letters were scrawled in a manner that suggested some kind of code. The Australian Department of Defense analyzed the text in 1978, but were unable to identify it as anything beyond "a complex substitute code" or "the meaningless response to a disturbed mind." Subsequent attempts at cracking the code by countless mathematicians, astrologers, amateurs, and foreign military and naval intelligence bodies have proved just as fruitless.

The case is still considered "open" at the South Australian Major Crime Task Force. Any further attempts to correctly identify the body have been hampered by the fact that the formaldehyde used to embalm the body has destroyed much of the DNA. Additionally, other key evidence no longer exists, such as the brown suitcase, which was destroyed in 1986, and many statements, which have somehow disappeared from the police file over the years.

Ah buh...

Again, check out the Wikipedia entry linked above for even more frustrating details, including possible connections to known espionage cases, investigative dead ends, mystery visitors to the man's grave, and suspects that turned up dead.

Fascinating Things I'm Learning Decades Too Late, Part One

"CBS News anchor Dan Rather, renowned for his unusual expressions and sayings, has led a colorful life. However, one bizarre event really takes the cake.

One night in October 1986, Rather was walking down a Manhattan street when he was punched from behind and thrown to the ground. His assailant kicked and beat him while repeating, 'Kenneth, what is the frequency?'

No one could explain the event, and the rumors flew fast and wide. Some speculated the assailant was a KGB agent, while others claimed the attack was the work of a jealous husband. Rather himself couldn't shed any light on the subject. His explanation at the time? 'I got mugged. Who understands these things? I didn't and I don't now. I didn't make a lot of it at the time and I don't now. I wish I knew who did it and why, but I have no idea.'

Apparently the strange event moved R.E.M. singer Michael Stipe, who said of the incident: 'It remains the premier unsolved American surrealist act of the 20th century. It's a misunderstanding that was scarily random, media hyped and just plain bizarre.'

The attack inspired the 1994 R.E.M. hit "What's the Frequency, Kenneth." Being a good sport, Dan Rather even accompanied the band when they performed the song on a Late Show with David Letterman appearance.

In 1997, based on a tip from a psychiatrist, Rather's attacker was identified as William Tager. According to the psychiatrist, Tager, who was currently serving time for killing an NBC stagehand, blamed news media for beaming signals into his head, and thought if he could just find out the correct frequency, he could block those signals that were constantly assailing him. Hence the enigmatic inquiry.

The Unshakable Perspective of Dead, White Males

Regardless of the circumstances, I always find myself pausing on Constitution Avenue or 16th and H Streets NW to gaze at the Executive Mansion; my head usually in the stars. Somewhere in its upper reaches, even late at night, there's a light or two on and looking at those windows, the pomp, history, and hopelessly muddled contemporary politics abate; the real and imagined barriers of that immense power seem to give way to basic truths about what it means to be successful in America. Of course, nobody except those closest to the President ever get to witness that incredibly unique and valuable perspective - Until their death, that is. Nothing in this life is as equalizing and humanizing as its end.

It's been said that as you approach 30, you realize a lot of the things that you had been self-conscious about growing up were distracting and at times debilitating wastes of time. In short, people really weren't thinking about you all that much. And your young life becomes increasingly idealized as it gets eroded away by the harsh realities of life on what seems like a daily basis. In the past 48 hours alone, one of the nicest girls from every graduating class of mine from elementary school to high school passed away suddenly and inexplicably. To boot, my first "modern" love; someone I dated for four years (from the very first hours I was in college until we started getting into retrospectively comical fights about the way things would be set up when we inevitably tied the knot), got married. Of course, it was to someone other than myself. I'm at once surprised, happy, and even a bit mournful over the way I've been able to put these jolting events into perspective. If I'm lucky enough to live deep into old age, I can't imagine the sheer amount of wisdom that I'll have from a lifetime of context.

That being said, what follows are the last words of men who have called 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW home (And George Washington, too). Those Presidents for which no record exists are omitted:


- Washington: "I die hard, but I am not afraid to go. 'Tis well."

- Adams: "Thomas Jefferson survives."
- Jefferson: "Is it the Fourth? I resign my spirit to God, my daughter to my country."

It's still a source of constant amazement that these two men died on the same day (50 years to do the day the Declaration of Independence was fully accepted by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776). And it's always great to be in the presence of someone finding that out for the first time. Sure, certain details might have been embellished and romanticized over the generations. But the two men had renewed their famous friendship, even if was simply because old age and loneliness caught up with them. As their loved ones and peers systematically died off, it's not a stretch to say they were living to correspond with each other at the end.

- Madison: "Nothing more than a change of mind, my dear."

- Monroe: "I always talk better lying down."

- Adams: "This is the last of Earth. I am content."

- Jackson: "Oh, do not cry. Be good children and we shall meet again in Heaven."

- Van Buren: "There is but one reliance."

- WH Harrison: "I wish you to understand the true principles of government. I wish them to be carried out. I ask nothing more."

- Tyler: "Doctor, I am going. Perhaps it is best."

- Polk: "I love you, Sarah. I love you for all eternity."

- Taylor: "I am sorry I am about to leave my friends. I have tried to do my duty, and am not afraid to die. I am ready."

- Fillmore: "The nourishment is palatable."

- Buchanan: "Oh God Almighty, as thou wilt."

- Lincoln: "She won't think anything about it," in response to his wife's questioning of what "Miss Harris would think of her hanging onto him so."

- Johnson: (Suffered a fatal stroke while writing addressing the popular - and historically correct - opinion that his failed Reconstruction policies were even greater failings compared to what Lincoln's would have been) "I was somewhat surprised when I received your account of VEEP Wilson's conversation with Governor Isham Harris and others in regard to what would have been the policy of President Lincoln, if he had lived. In your letter, you state that Wilson....."

- Grant: "I want nobody distressed on my account."

- Hayes: "I know I am going where Lucy is."

- Garfield: "This pain, this pain. Swaim, can't you stop this? Oh, Swaim.

- B. Harrison: "Are the doctors here? Doctors, my lungs..."

- Cleveland: "I have tried so hard to do right."

- McKinley: Whispered the tune "Nearer, My God, to Thee." Then, "We are all going, oh Dear."

- T. Roosevelt: "Please, put out the light."

- Wilson: "The machinery has just worn out. I am ready."

- Harding: "That's good. Go on; read some more."

- Coolidge: "Good morning."

- Franklin Roosevelt: "I have a terrific headache."

- Eisenhower: "I want to go; God take me."

- Kennedy: "That's obvious." In response to Nellie Connally's wife's remark "You can't say that Dallas doesn't love you today, Mr. President."

- Johnson: "Send Mike immediately."

LBJ died relatively quickly after he left office, and a lot of that can probably be traced back to a famous and personally respected, albeit tragic anecdote - "On Inauguration Day, Johnson saw Nixon sworn in, then got on a plane to fly back to Texas. When the front door of the plane closed, Johnson pulled out a cigarette - the first he had smoked since his heart attack in 1955. One of his daughters pulled it out of his mouth and said, 'Daddy, what are you doing? You're going to kill yourself.' He took it back and said, 'I've now raised you girls. I've now been President. Now it's my time!' From that point on, he went into a very self-destructive spiral."

- Reagan: All we know of Reagan's last minutes and even years is what Nancy and the rest of the family gathered by his bed-side described as a transcendental moment - Ravished by Alzheimer's and waking from a coma, he looked directly at his beloved "Mommy," smiled clearly, and passed away.

His last official contact with the American public is as poignant as it comes, will probably be housed in the National Archives someday, and serves as a fitting end to this entry.

TV Notes and other Newark-Centric Stray Thoughts

- Leighton > Lively. I'm not crazy, right? I know that all of the Twilight Zone's episodes were more or less constructed like this, but I feel like I'm in one; where everybody unquestionably perceives something that I just can't for some chilling reason. And while on topic, all I know of that wildly popular tweenager's wet dream of a show is what Joel McHale succinctly mocks for me on a weekly basis, but that Chuck Bass character seems halfway brilliant - "Looks like you just hooked yourself a bass! *stares creepily, kisses dude.*"

- I realize ripping on SNL in 2009 is like criticizing the Bush Administration's Iraq exit strategy, but between the pathetic reliance on fart jokes, an endless, disjointed parade of celebrity cameos, and the loss of any semblance of accurate impersonations (Fred Armisen as Obama, I'm looking at you), they've reached their once-every-five years nadir. Kristin Wiig is certainly not helping things - I'm pretty sure Keanu Reeves is jealous of her range. Still, I'm intrigued by an admittedly wishful rumor that has Lorne Michaels toying with the idea of taking every other week off, but having a longer (if not year-round) season. The show doesn't always have to be political, but come on... between American politics reading like a Katharine Graham nightmare, the Balloon Boy saga, etc., the uninspired and aimless mess they churn out each week is inadequate at best, sub - Mad TV quality at worst. God bless Taylor Swift and her undeniable magnetism for trying, though.

- No real Mad Men spoilers here for those still catching up since this is weeks late, but I absolutely love the "lawnmower incident" as a JFK assassination allegory (be it from an exhausted, blood-stained Joan as Jackie to the promising, style over substance young leader shockingly and suddenly cut down in his prime). And the fact that it basically came from a commenter on the blog of a TV critic for the Newark, NJ Star Ledger makes it even more amazing. Not that he hadn't already proven himself with his nationally renowned Sopranos reviews, but Sepinwall has really solidified himself as a beacon for intelligent discussion of intelligent television.

- Speaking of the Kennedy Assassination, and spawned by a recent History Channel piece that gloriously offered no hopeless commentary and took no liberties with the primary sources that comprised 99.9% of the program ...

I loathe irresponsible conspiracy theories as much as the next person, but I fear the misguided 9/11 "Truthers" or whatever the hell those poor souls want to go by have tainted what is some legitimate and historically responsible research into the litany of suspicious things that were going on in Dallas on November 22, 1963. Before practicing pseudo-psychology and casting off all contrarian views of the Warren Commission as a manifestation of American society's inability to process the transition from the idyllic 1950s to the tumultuous 60s, take the time to evaluate any author's citations and recall the true definition of a conspiracy - it doesn't mean that the famous Onion headline has to hold true, it just means more than one person was aware of what the shooter planned.

Beyond that, the lingering question anybody who has visited the superbly oriented and maintained Sixth Floor Museum comes away with remains inexplicable - If Oswald was indeed the lone shooter, why on earth would he not take the fateful shots as the motorcade came up on Houston Street? Not only is it a much easier shot, but even when William Greer inevitably accelerated, each subsequent shot would have been closer for anybody in that particular spot, not more difficult as was the case in Dealey Plaza. Oswald's alleged perch makes so much more sense if there was an accomplice, be it on the Knoll, Triple Underpass, or in the Dal-Tex Building. As a historian, I'm naturally skeptical of Oliver Stone's excessive use of the creative license, but in addition to popularizing some pretty basic facts, he brings up a great point that too often gets lost in not only his personal distortions, but the white noise of JFK conspiracy theories - Ask why, don't get caught up in the how ... Part of the reason so many are still hung up on that dark chapter in American history is because Kennedy represented such a stark and hopeful contrast to the shadowy and increasingly bold elements of the old guard who wanted nothing more than to move against the Soviet Union by way of Cuba.

- Anybody sticking with the too-frequently unintentionally hilarious Flash Forward? It's hanging around, despite the fact it has to be hard for anyone without a DVR to switch over from NBC's vaunted Thursday-night lineup (Speaking of Joel McHale, Community has exceeded any and all expectations). Can't believe Joe Fiennes and his cavalcade of strained whispers has gotten a pass so far ... Cho (aka Harold of Harold and Kumar fame) can't be that bad. And I know a decent amount of initial reviews mentioned this, but it is indeed distracting how quickly the show seems to settling into the routine police procedural framework despite the obvious scale of the event. They haven't gotten us invested enough in the characters yet to ignore the fact the entire world should have been thrown into complete and barely irrevocable chaos. I guess it goes back to the "only interested in the cause" mentality that's already overtaken the vast majority of those who initially tuned in, but what's the President been up to? How many died? What's the Federal response been like? Did it effect astronauts? Geeky questions like that. Also, that schoolgirl "Ring Around the Rosie" intro a few weeks back, to borrow a quote from Sideshow Bob, was so cliche "it could have been sprung from the PowerBook of the laziest Hollywood hack."

- Sticking with ABC, I adore Modern Family so far. But I know it's nothing more than what The Office was initially - a faux-documentary as a vehicle for a by-the-numbers sitcom. But I think it will survive even when the (generally slow) viewing public compensates for the lack of a laugh track. Plus, Sophia Vergara. My God, Sophia Vergara.

- As some of you may know, I've been (less than) relentlessly working on a thesis this semester, so my course-load is light and my sleeping schedule is as close to normal as it might ever be. As a result, I've often found myself taking breaks in the 11am hour and as any student, retiree, or office worker playing hooky knows, that means... The Price Is Right! I'm happy to report Drew Carey is settling in nicely as Bob Barker's replacement and obviously that's no small feat. Additionally, the overly enthusiastic cross-section of America, perpetually knowledgeable on the exact price of Metamucil and Gold-Bond Medicated Powder is still well represented. If you can't crack a smile seeing frat guys and old ladies frantically embrace over comically and perpetually outdated prizes, you officially have no soul.

- I'm still a Late Show man through and through, so I missed the majority of Conan O'Brien's "important" feud with Newark Mayor Corey Booker. Nevertheless, I understand he caught some flack back up North for the amount of energy he devoted to what from the beginning was an obvious gag. Regardless, a friend put it best - In the end, he received hundreds of thousands of dollars to help the City. More than that, he highlighted specific and unique charitable efforts that aim to attack the root of the Newark's problems. And as an added bonus, he got the late night hosts to start ripping on Detroit instead of a Newark that was, and would have still been a great American city had it not been for the '68 race riots.

- Do people still not understand that Monday Night Football now exists as NBC's Sunday Night Football? If last night's "epic" Baltimore v. Cleveland match-up didn't give it away, I don't know what will. A consolation to the shoddy contests ESPN is legally obligated to air (every NFL team has to appear in primetime once a season) is a disorientingly crowded TV landscape on Mondays.

Other ramblings...

As someone who didn't drink in high school (NERD ALERT!) and only put in a year at Hofstra before switching to commuter status for the rest of my undergrad career, I was predictably introduced to the bottle relatively late in life. That being said, I'm pretty sure I'm already at the final phase of my relationship with alcohol: quality > quantity. Thus, I still am perplexed by those amateurs who sully high-end booze with mixers. I'm reminded of an anecdote...

"While sitting in a bar, we overheard an order for a JD Single Barrel and Coke. 'Who the hell orders that cut?' we asked. 'Julian Lennon,' said the waitress. Naturally. It goes to show: When you corrupt quality bourbon, all you do is embarrass Dad."

Re: the thesis, of course I picked a topic that had to do with our 16th President, however narrow it ended up having to be. I think the highlight of my research so far was Honest Abe's 1860 tongue-in-cheek missive to residents of Newark, NJ who were patronized even back then - "I shall be able to do no more than to bow to the people of New Ark from the train."

- The Red Line has been exemplary post-crash and since I've moved to Cleveland Park. Having typed that, I fully expect to sit in a tunnel, without explanation, somewhere between Dupont Circle and Farragut North come tomorrow's AM rush.

Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA), Part I

Like many, I spent a decent chunk of my Saturday watching coverage of Ted Kennedy's funeral. That much shouldn't come as a shock - When multiple Presidents are in the same room interacting with each other and it's being broadcast live, I'm totally there. Besides, I can't still be the only one utterly fascinated by the friendship George W. Bush and the Clintons seem to have developed, right?

During the Kennedy party's flight from Boston to D.C., CNN kept mentioning and eventually aired a documentary on the late Senator that HBO had put together in recent months. Staying true to its title, the piece largely relied on archival audio and video. Still, the history major in me found the more recent reflections of his that they employed downright criminal in their inadequacy. This is especially true given his heightened sense of self-awareness - Not only was he terminal ill, but his very public 1991 acceptance of his shortcomings had directly lead to a lot of meaningful work over the past 20 years. Like most, I'm beyond the voyeuristic, downright adolescent desire to find out how immediately and exactly he dealt with the well documented parade of personal tragedies. Still, his ability to capture the imagination of Massachusetts and the rest of the US stemmed from his private ability to grieve healthfully enough to eventually use those painful detours as a means of inspiration; of "picking up the torch" and thriving in a situation where so many others would have not only failed, but also been forgiven for doing so. In that sense, some detailed ruminations on what it actually took to overcome would have been tremendously enlightening.

Additionally, there was a portion of this documentary which was completely new and disconcerting to me - In short, it presents authentic audio clips of Nixon (in the Oval Office nonetheless) conspiring to do a variety of illegal and generally despicable things to a political foe who wouldn't even be running for president for another eight years. Nixon directly suggests pinning the attempted George Wallace assassination on a fabricated connected Kennedy supports. He talks about the existing unsuccessful efforts of Federal agents in his employ to catch Kennedy in a politically compromising situation. The President also expresses his desire to supply the Senator with bogus Secret Service protection loyal to him - "If he gets shot, that's too bad." Regardless of the reader's personal opinion on the Senator's actions in the Chappaquiddick Incident, the fact that Nixon would sink to such depths after an event that (even back then) made him an unrealistic candidate for the Presidency makes it even more petty and revolting.

It's been interesting that despite this illegal and generally despicable behavior that is separate from the Watergate Scandal and apparently has been public knowledge for some time, Nixon still saw some praise this weekend for initiating a "War on Cancer." In this climate, it's been deemed a very early form of overall health-care reform and something that Kennedy had been willing to work with him on. Obviously Nixon did do some good, and even without the help of a wildly popular HBO miniseries (John Adams's Presidency was historically irrelevant before Paul Giamatti portrayed him in 2008), Nixon's Presidency had rebounded over the past decade even in liberal circles. Beyond any sympathy that might have been dredged up by Frost/Nixon, more attention than ever is being given to his un-GOP-like sensitivity to a litany of tricky social issues and disinterest in meaninglessly withholding diplomatic recognition to an emerging China.

If Richard M. Nixon didn't suffer from outright mental illness, he definitely did have a dangerously distracting preoccupation with the Kennedy clan. In addition to the clear differences in ideology and outward appearance/public perceptions, Nixon (as history is proving, somewhat accurately) believed nefarious dealings by Daley in Chicago and LBJ in Texas delivered the Presidency to JFK. It's one thing to wander the halls of the White House in the middle of the night and have conversations with your slain rival's portrait. But it's quite another to abuse the Office to such an illegal and generally unforgivable extent. It goes against everything the Office and the Country stand for.

Our 37th President was the worst President.

Living on Eye Street NW, across Virgina Ave. from the Watergate Complex, I'm not sure I ever appreciated our view and access for anything more than its historical value (however notorious). But in what should surely be a relief to Mustachioed Hostelkeeper, the next time I'm in the mood for that dank Safeway's 10 boxes of Hot Pockets for $10 or Watergate Bourbon (sold in a convenient lightweight plastic bottle!), I'll appreciate it for standing as a living testament to the fact the system works. To not include Nixon's second term in a list of America's darkest hours and the process that began in the middle of the night on May 28, 1972 as one of its brightest is downright foolhardy.

Beyond that unpleasantness, I look forward to heading across the River this week to pay my respects. As a moderate, I can't reconcile with some of Kennedy's political views. As someone who considers himself to be moral, I can't reconcile with some of the things he did privately, and yes, that includes the audacious insensitivity of naming his beloved dog "Splash."

Still, he eventually used what could have been a crippling burden to make a genuine difference. And I use the word genuine because his Congressional support also entailed a strikingly personal attitude towards the people (constituents or not) who would benefit from his work in Washington. Far and away, the most fascinating part of all this coverage has been the individual stories onlookers from Tremont Street in the Bay State to Constitution Ave. here in D.C. have had about rich interactions with him; experiences that made a real difference in their lives. My favorite had to be those folks who simply said "Senator Kennedy helped me pick up the pieces and learn to put one foot in front of the other again."

Kennedy also didn't use the legislative branch as his own personal stepping stone to a higher public or more financially lucrative private office, nor was he one of those rightfully loathed, useless career politicians who use Congress as their own personal cash cow. I also kind of dig the fact he ran against an incumbent President from his own party. He did this not because he felt his last name entitled him to the White House or because he had a personal rivalry with Jimmy Carter, but because he viewed the US much in the same way the 1980 election's eventual winner did.

Kennedy, like Reagan, saw an opportunity to reverse the slew of problems that lead to our collective "crisis of confidence." On top of that, his career-spanning mission to overhaul health care had seemed to be shaping up as the most immediate way of putting the country back on track. As much as a kid who was born two years later can gather, it seemed he quickly made peace with the fact the Presidency was - in his own words - "not in the cards." This acceptance, which often comes far too late for a lot of politicians, allowed him to craft the legacy that was celebrated this weekend.

Hell is...

other people and the Metro on weekends.

"Hey baby, let's go look at the monuments."

It's comforting to know that even Barry isn't above this time-honored, transparent, and collegiate D.C. classic.

"DAMN IT!" - Jack Bauer

Empty your bladders, gas up your black SUVs, and make sure your cell phone is fully charged because in honor of 24's return to form this season (to say nothing of Moustachioed Hostelkeeper's inexplicable, ancient promise of a list-heavy blog), your three contributors would like to share their favorite recurring lines and catch-phrases from a show that adeptly combines high drama, unintentional comedy, and subtle jingoism almost as routinely as I write run-on sentences. Feel free to add your own!

- "Within the hour."
- "That's the wrong play!"
- "Trust me."
- "Just tell me what the hell is going on."
- "____ has gone rogue."
- "Nucular."
- "Millions of lives are at stake!!!"
- "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR?!?!"
- "Don't fight it" - Jack Bauer, in a whisper, as he puts someone he cares for in a sleeper hold.
- "Put me through to the President!"
- "You have my word."
- "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
- "Copy that."
- Subpoena-waving goon squads.
- "It's a trap!"
- "We're going to have to do this my way."
- "System-wide reformat."
- "There's no time!"
- "Don't tell me what to feel."
- First Gentleman.
- "This is real."
- "Report you to Division."

And of course - "DAMN IT!!!"

Only five hours left! Godspeed, Madame President. Godspeed.

Why Isn't Bessie Stone's Cricket Dilemma on Facebook Yet?

- His Presidential Exploratory Committee advised against it.
- It's too cheap.
- Competitiveness won't let him contribute to the loss of a playground bet made in middle school over whether or not a kid from Dobbs Ferry could earn a billion US dollars before the age of 25.
- Is "old fashioned" when it comes to his stalking.
- Easier to shirk CHS Reunion responsibilities.
- Has other means of knowing what Katie Wilbur had for lunch today.
- Sophomore year English teacher Ruth Ross IS.
- Fearful I'll invite him to play Scramble; improve on lifetime 12-68 record.
- Wouldn't do justice to Elizabeth Szabo's baby blues.

A Guide to Philadelphia

Some of this blog's most loyal readers may know that Bessie Stone's Cricket Dilemma graduated from the University of Pennsylvania some years ago. As such, people often ask BSCD for advice on where to visit anytime they travel to historic Philadelphia. Below, you will find a travel guide that BSCD recently put together for BSCD's biggest fan. Be sure to print out a copy and take it with you the next time you venture to the City of Brotherly Love!

A GUIDE TO HISTORIC PHILADELPHIA

Liberty Bell/Independence Hall – the corner of Chestnut Street and South 6th Street – Along with apple pie, Superman, Fanfare for the Common Man, and the New York Yankees, few things evoke imagery of Americana more than these two national landmarks located within 500 feet of one another on Independence Mall in downtown Philadelphia. As we all know from the Tony-award winning musical 1776, Independence Hall was the site of the Second Continental Congress’ debate over, and ultimate adoption of, the Declaration of Independence. Without this building, we might be wearing powdered wigs and eating fish and chips today. Unbeknownst to many, the U.S. Constitution was also signed at Independence Hall.

The relevance of the Liberty Bell, however, remains shrouded in some mystery. Legend has it that the ringing of the Liberty Bell summoned Philadelphians for the initial public reading of the Declaration of Independence and was also used to announce the conclusion of the Battle of Lexington and Concord. But many historians and engineers claim that the steeple from which the bell hung had deteriorated too much by that time to withstand its ringing. Nevertheless, the Liberty Bell really achieved its iconic status as a symbol for the abolitionist movement in the mid-1800s, and again as a symbol of unity following the Civil War. Although some argue that the Bell was first cracked when it arrived in Philadelphia in 1752, most agree that the crack expanded for the final time and rendered the bell unringable when it was rung to honor Washington’s birthday in 1846.

Both landmarks are a reminder that Philadelphia peaked as a city 232 years ago. Among American cities/towns, BSCD can only think of Plymouth, MA (landing site of the Pilgrims); Gettysburg, PA (the turning point in the Union’s battle against the Confederates during the Civil War); and BSCD's hometown (birthplace of BSCD) as other places whose best days are surely behind them.

Fun fact: If you look closely, you will notice that a quotation inscribed on the bell has the state spelled “Pensylvania,” not “Pennsylvania.” The original Constitution also spelled the state “Pensylvania.”

The Betsy Ross House – Arch Street b/t 2nd and 3rd – Diminutive in size, this bandbox packs a lot of historical punch, for the house lays claim as the site where Betsy Ross sewed the first American stars-and-stripes flag. Legend has it that George Washington himself visited Ross at this house and asked if she could commission a flag from a design sketched on a piece of paper he pulled from inside his coat pocket. Her response: “I do not know, but I will try.” The original design had 13 red and white stripes and 13 six-pointed stars, but Ross convinced Washington and his men that five-pointed stars would look better, and they agreed to the change. Although details of the initial encounter with Washington remain fuzzy, the Betsy Ross House affords the unique opportunity to meet Betsy herself (from 10 a.m.-3 p.m.) and ask her if the whole story is nothing but a pile of trash. BSCD wonders how much of an appearance fee she commands!

Strange, but true: As a child, BSCD thought that Betty Crocker, and not Betsy Ross, was responsible for having sewn the first American flag.

Christ Church & Burial Grounds – 5th and Arch - Located steps from Independence Hall, the cemetery is the final resting place for the “Father of Philadelphia” Benjamin Franklin. Among others interred there are Deborah Franklin (Ben’s wife), four signors of the Declaration of Independence (including George Ross, not to be confused with Betsy Ross’s uncle George Ross who was friends with George Washington and is largely credited as the reason why Washington chose Ross to sew the first flag), William Bainbridge (captain of Old Ironsides during the War of 1812), and David Franks (aide for Benedict Arnold at the time he pulled a “Benedict Arnold” and tried to turn West Point over to the British). The Church itself is a few blocks away (2nd Street b/t Market and Arch) and included President Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Betsy Ross among its congregation. The burial ground located adjacent to the Church houses some notables as well, including Andrew Hamilton, who successfully defended John Peter Zenger against an accusation of libel. Everyone can appreciate a good lawyer (although some prefer them six feet under), so please pay homage as you see fit.

Note: The baptismal font still in use at Christ Church was the one in which William Penn (founder of Pennsylvania) was baptized. It was shipped from London to Philadelphia in the late 17th century.

Reading Terminal Market – 12th and Arch - A melting pot of odoriferous animations, this enclosed farmers’ market is every foodies dream, as over 85 merchants provide a cornucopia of fresh meats, fish, produce, and desserts. From live lobsters to Italian hoagies to pickled vegetables from the Pennsylvania Dutch, the Market has it all. For his first visit there, BSCD surveyed the vast array of ethnic cuisine and local delicacies and wound up ordering a hamburger from the diner. The Market first opened in 1891 and remained vibrant through two World Wars and the Great Depression. It was constructed in an old train shed and now sits adjacent to the city’s Convention Center.

From the Memory Bank: During BSCD’s junior year in college, his dad came down to visit for the sole purpose of going to Bassetts Ice Cream counter at the Market. BSCD thinks his dad secretly drove to Philadelphia the next weekend to go back to Bassetts without telling BSCD, because BSCD's dad commented on how much he enjoyed a flavor of ice cream from Bassetts that he didn’t get when he went there with BSCD.

Franklin Field – the corner of 33rd Street and Spruce Street, University of Pennsylvania - The nation’s oldest two-tiered stadium, Franklin Field has played host to a number of moments embedded deep in the rich tradition of American history. Littered among the snapshots that have helped make Franklin Field the most historic stadium in the country include 18 Army-Navy football games, FDR’s 1936 speech accepting the Democratic Party’s nomination for President, drunken Eagles fans pelting snowballs at Santa Claus during halftime of a December 1968 game, and, most recently, Penn’s 2000 Collegiate Sprint Football League Championship-clinching win against Princeton, perhaps its finest moment. Franklin Field can lay claim to a number of our nation’s firsts: the first scoreboard, the first football radio broadcast, the first football telecast, and Vince Lombardi’s first (and only) NFL playoff loss as a head coach.

Although much smaller crowds attend the regular Penn sporting events held at Franklin Field, a capacity crowd of 52,000 annually packs the stadium for April’s Penn Relays. Fans of the 2000 smash hit Unbreakable may recognize Franklin Field as the setting for several scenes in which Bruce Willis’ character works as a security guard.

In the summer of 2004, right after BSCD graduated, Penn switched the playing surface at Franklin Field from a concrete-like Astrotruf to a plusher SprinTurf. BSCD’s knees and ankles are still bitter.

Did You Know? In 1997, Franklin Field hosted the first-ever U.S. public concert. Bono rocked the joint as the lead singer of the Irish rock band U2. Seven years later, he returned to the stadium to deliver a commencement address for the Class of 2004.

Other Notable Places to Visit
US Mint – 5th Street b/t Race and Arch – The mint is unfortunately closed on weekends, but it’s in the area.

Declaration (Graff) House – 7th and Market – Thomas Jefferson penned the Declaration of Independence here.

Dolley Todd (Madison) House – 4th and Walnut – The former home of a young widower who became the namesake for a subpar brand of ice cream. Oh, and she later moved into some well-known residence in DC for a little bit.

The National Constitution Center – Arch b/t 5th and 6th (along Independence Mall) – The only 160,000-square-foot building in the country devoted entirely to a four-page document.

Franklin’s Print Shop – Market Street b/t 3rd and 4th – It’s that guy again. Long before he flew a kite, he made his name as a printer. When BSCD was younger, BSCD’s older brother tried to convince BSCD to recreate Franklin’s kite-flying experiment.